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Domestic Violence - Male/Female + more

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

by Lundy Bancroft (G.P. Putnam)

The book that answers the 20 questions that women most commonly ask about controlling or abusive relationship partners, including why he treats other people so much better than he treats you, how he came to be the way he is, why his good periods don't last, and how to tell if he is really going to change or not.

Getting Free: You Can End Abuse and Take Back Your Life

by Ginny NiCarthy.

This is the essential book for women who are seeking guidance on how to cope with a controlling partner and how to move towards freedom and recovery. It is practical, down to earth, and accurate, and covers in detail a wide range of issues that women face.

It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence

by Meg Kennedy Dugan and Roger Hock (Routledge).

Despite the title, this book is equally valuable for women who are still involved with an angry or controlling partner and for those who have left. This is a wonderful, warm, compassionate book by authors that deeply understand both emotional and physical abuse.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How To Recognize It and How To Respond

by Patricia Evans (Bob Adams).

Evans' book takes the reader through the details of verbally abusive tactics in relationships, and how to understand their effects on you. She offers terrific insight and practical advice

Into the Light: A Guide for Battered Women

by Leslie Cantrelli (Chas. Franklin Press)

This booklet is short and simple, with accurate information and good advice. This is a great resource for a woman who does not have the time or energy for the longer books listed above, or who wants to have quick inspiration handy.

When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

by Lundy Bancroft (Berkley Books).

If you have lived with a partner who yelled at you, tore you down verbally, threatened you, or assaulted you, this book offers you insights into how those experiences have affected your children -- including events that you don't even realized they heard or saw -- and how to help them bounce back.

Not to People Like Us: Hidden Abuse in Upscale Marriages

by Susan Weitzman (Basic Books).

A valuable expose of abuse among the wealthy, with important guidance for abused women. Weitzman's descriptions of abusive men are accurate and helpful (though a couple of the myths slip in).

What Parents Need to Know About Dating Violence

by Barrie Levy and Patricia Occhiuzzo Giggam (Seal Press).

The essential book for parents who are concerned that their daughters or sons may be involved in abusive dating relationships. Compassionate, insightful, and highly practical, written by people who grasp the wide range of anxieties and challenges that parents face.

Chain Chain Change: For Black Women in Abusive Relationships

by Evelyn C. White (Seal Press).

This excellent book remains the key reading resource for any African-American woman who is involved with a controlling or abusive partner. It provides general information combined with guidance that is specific to the black woman's experience, and includes a section speaking to abused black lesbians.

Mejor Sola Que Mal AcompaƱada: For the Latina in an Abusive Relationship

by Myrna Zambrano (Seal Press).

Zambrano's book for Latina women in abusive relationships is available in a bilingual edition, making it readable for women who use Spanish or English as their primary language. This excellent resource speaks to the cultural context in which Latinas live, and offers specific validation and recommendations.

Black Eyes All of the Time: Intimate Violence, Aboriginal Women, and the Justice System,

by Anne McGillivray and Brenda Comaskey (University of Toronto).

The experience of abused indigenous (native) women is told largely in their own voices in this wonderful and groundbreaking volume. Although there are a few portions where the writers use some difficult academic language, the great majority of the book is highly accessible and moving.

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Domestic Violence - Female/Female + more

Woman To Woman Sexual Violence: Does She Call It Rape?

by Lori Girshick (Northeastern University Press).

With the stories of survivors of sexual assaults by same-sex partners woven through, this book reports on an important survey and helps bring to light a seldom-examined aspect of intimate partner abuse.

Lesbians Talk: Violent Relationships

by Joelle Taylor and Tracy Chandler (Scarlet Press).

This is a short book that draws from the voices of women themselves to describe the problem of abuse in lesbian relationships and offer solutions.

Same-Sex Domestic Violence: Strategies for Change

by Beth Leventhal and Sandra Lundy (Sage Publications).

This well-written and insightful book offers guidance to community members who want to address the needs of abused lesbians and gay men, explaining the structuring of service provision and the overcoming of institutional barriers.

National Lawyers Guild

National Immigration Project

14 Beacon St., Suite 602
Boston MA 02108
(617) 227-9727, then select "National Immigration Project", then select "Domestic Violence"

Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Child Protection and Custody

operated by the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges: (800) 527-3223.

The Resource Center offers a free packet of information for abused women in custody and visitation litigation. It does not become involved in specific cases or provide legal advice. They also offer a book called Managing Your Divorce that helps women prepare for the process of resolving child custody, visitation, and child support.

More resources on abuse and violence can be found at

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Domestic Violence - Resource providers, entities and bodies + more

Mending the Sacred Hoop

202 E. Superior St.
Duluth MN 55802
(218) 722-2781, then select "Mending the Sacred Hoop"

This project of Minnesota Program Development focuses on addressing the abuse of women in tribal cultures.

Institute on Domestic Violence in the African-American Community

Univ. of Minnesota School of Social Work
290 Peters Hall
1404 Gortner Ave.
St. Paul MN 55108-6142
(877) 643-8222

This organization's website includes resources for abused women themselves, while also reaching out to policy makers, researchers, and other concerned community members.

National Latino Alliance for the Elimination of Domestic Violence

P.O. Box 22086
Ft. Washington Station
New York NY 10032
(646) 672-1404

Mostly oriented toward research and policy. Extensive listings.

Asian and Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence

942 Market St., Suite 200
San Francisco CA 94102
(415) 954-9964, then select "Programs", then select the Institute

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Parenting + more

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

Siblings Without Rivalry, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (Avon).

The Courage to Raise Good Men, by Olga Silverstein and Beth Rashbaum (Penguin).

Consider this book a must read for any parent of a son, especially one who has been exposed to a man who mistreats his mother.

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls,

by Mary Pipher (Grosset/Putnam).

Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood,

by William Pollack (Random House).

How to Mother a Successful Daughter,

by Nicky Marone (Three Rivers).

How to Father a Successful Daughter,

by Nicky Marone (Fawcett Crest).

The Love and Logic Institute

provides simple and practical techniques to help parents have less stress and more fun while raising responsible kids.

National Parent Helpline

1-855-427-2736 or

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Alcoholism & Drug Addiction + more

Eating for Recovery: The Essential Nutrition Plan to Reverse the Physical Damage of Alcoholism,

by Mollly Siple (Da Capo Press)

AA: Not the Only Way--Your One Stop Resource Guide to 12-Step Alternatives--Second Edition,

by Melanie Solomon (Capalo Press)

Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism,

by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services (author and publisher)

Tales of Addiction and Inspiration for Recovery: Twenty True Stories from the Soul,

by Barbara Sinor. (Modern History Press)
Lots of information and resources, including where to find drug and alcohol abuse treatment in your area.
Excellent web resource on recovery from alcoholism.

Sober...and Staying That Way: The Missing Link in The Cure for Alcoholism,

Susan Powter. (Fireside).
This book is more for you, in case you have concerns about your own drinking, because it focuses on recovery for women (though most of the concepts would apply to men as well).

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Mental Health & Trauma + more

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance,

by Mathew McKay, Jeffrey Wood, and Jennifer Brantley (New Harbinger)
For people whose emotional reactivity, impulsive behavior, or problems dealing with interpersonal conflict are disrupting their relationships or leading to poor behavioral choices; includes people with "personality disorders".
Humane, supportive website for people believed to have borderline personality disorder and their loved ones.

Healing from Trauma: A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Your Symptoms and Reclaiming Your Life,

By Jasmin Lee Cori. (Da Capo Press)

Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body

by Peter Levine. (Sounds True, Inc.)

When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness,

by Rebecca Woolis. (Penguin).
Balanced, supportive information on depression, with a range of avenues to recovery.

Overcoming Depression One Step at a Time: The New Behavioral Activation Approach to Getting Your Life Back,

by Michael Addis (New Harbinger).

"Choosing The right Treatment: What Families Need to Know About Evidence-based Practices,"

published by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (

"Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Fact Sheet"

from the National Traumatic Stress Network.

"The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms"

by Mary Beth Williams and Soili Poijula

"Resurrection After Rape: A guide to transforming from victim to survivor"

by Matt Atkinson.

"The Courage to Heal Workbook for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse"

by Laura Davis.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Choose "Find a clinician"
A sensory based treatment approach which has been empirically validated in over 20 randomized studies of trauma victims.

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Gambling + more

Select Gamblers Anonymous, and then, "Gam-Anon:Help for Family and Friends"

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Overeating + more

"The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous,"

by Overeaters Anonymous Incorporated.

"Food For Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters"

by Elisabeth L.

"Fat and Furious"

by Judi Hollis, Phd

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Sex Addiction + more

Sex Addicts Anonymous 1-800-477-8191 USA/Canada Toll free
offers online and written resources such as"Sex Addicts Anonymous A Pathway to Recovery" by International Service Organization of SAA, Inc. and "Abstinence"

"Abstinence in SAA means not acting-out achieved through the support of working a program of recovery. They suggest considering acting-out to be any sexual behavior which is abusive, high risk, painful, costly or compulsive"

Sexual Recovery Institute Toll free at 866-585-9174
resources and support group information, including video educational tools and discussion of the addictive use of pornography Has tools,

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Pornography + more


"Women Who Run With the Wolves, Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype"

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD

"Authentic Movment: Moving the Body, Moving the Self/Being Moved: A Collection of Essays-volume 1"

by Patrizia Pallaro, Janet Adler, Joan Chodokow
A collection of reflections on healing relationships with the body through a therapeutic form of movement called Authentic Movement.

"A Woman's Book of Life, The Biology, Psychology and Spirituality of the Feminine Life Cycle"

by Joan Borysenko, PhD

"Coming Home to Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman's Body and Soul"

by Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick

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Financial Planning + more
includes free videos and worksheets for increasing financial literacy. or toll free 1-888-MyMoney. Call for guidance and resources
Department of Labor sponsored planning information and tools for people 10-15 years away from retirement

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Nicotine Addiction + more
The American Lung Association is a reliable source for up-to-date information about tobacco products and the impact of tobacco use on specific communities. Everything you could ever want to know about quitting smoking.

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Quick Resources:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline for the United States and Canada:

    Call this number to receive a referral to the closest hotline for abused women in your area.
  • Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network Hotline (Rain):

    Call this number if you have been sexually assaulted or sexually abused by your partner or ex-partner (or by anyone else), and you will be connected immediately to the sexual assault hotline closest to you.


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